


Is That Even Possible?

by batterwitch_dumb_basses



Series: Six Months [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Maryam Mother-Rage, Oblivious Eribae, Threatening Kanaya, big dumb babies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-06
Updated: 2015-02-06
Packaged: 2018-03-10 19:00:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3300233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/batterwitch_dumb_basses/pseuds/batterwitch_dumb_basses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>GA: Sollux Captor<br/>GA: I Have Put Up With Weeks Of You Ranting About Someone’s ‘Perfect’ Backside And Various Other Aspects Of Their Body<br/>GA: And Your Gloating When You Finally Got Them To ‘Be Your Bae’<br/>GA: It Was Not A Pleasant Surprise In This Light To Find Out You Were Talking About Eridan</p>
            </blockquote>





	Is That Even Possible?

Eridan smiled at Kanaya as she began to knit carefully. Apparently she was being taught by Rose, and although Eridan couldn’t much see the appeal, it did probably mean he would get another nice scarf for his birthday.  
“So, how is your relationship going?” she asked sweetly, watching him drink the cup of green tea she’d brewed for him – oddly enough, this time he had requested she add a big dollop of honey.  
“Oh, it’s goin’ great! I mean…it w-was such a romantic gesture to ask me out w-with, if stupid…” Eridan blushed, fidgeting a little, and Kanaya smiled again.  
“So, your knight in shining amour, what’s his name?” she asked, and Eridan rolled his eyes at the frankly terrible pun, but a soft smile played around his lips at the thought of his 'knight'.  
“Sollux. His name’s Sollux, and god, he’s just so—Kan?” He looked at her suddenly angry face with fear, thanking any god that might be listening that she put down the metal needles.  
Kanaya stood up, eyes narrowed in the ‘Maryam Mother-Rage Glare’ that so many had quickly learned to fear.  
“Sollux Captor?” she questioned, eyes narrowing and focused on her phone, laying on the coffee table innocently on the royal purple tablecloth Eridan had insisted on having in their apartment.  
“Well, yes—Hey, Kan? What’re you doin’?” Eridan blinked in confusion at his flatmate, who smiled in a motherly manner at him.  
“Messaging a friend.”  
He gulped. “Oh, okay. No w-worries!” He was so fucking worried.

Sollux looked down from his computer (playing Minecraft with Terezi was usually fun, even though she wasn’t talking much due to a fight with her girlfriend, Vriska) to see his tablet’s message light flashing quickly, which usually meant a lot of messages.  
“Huh. Wonder who that ith? KK?” He unlocked the tablet to check them.  
GA: Sollux Captor  
GA: I Have Put Up With Weeks Of You Ranting About Someone’s ‘Perfect’ Backside And Various Other Aspects Of Their Body  
GA: And Your Gloating When You Finally Got Them To ‘Be Your Bae’  
GA: It Was Not A Pleasant Surprise In This Light To Find Out You Were Talking About Eridan  
GA: Eridan Is My Flatmate And My Friend  
GA: My Dear Friend  
GA: I Am Assured By Rose That It Impossible To Force Someone To Eat Their Own Nose But If You Hurt Him In Any Way Shape Or Form  
GA: Be Told That I’m Pretty Sure I Could Manage It Through Sheer Willpower And Am Happy To Try More Than Once To Get The Desired Affect  
GA: Here Is A List Of Alternative Consequences

Sollux’s face went paler as he scrolled down and read through.  
“TZ!” he yelled in to the headset. “TZ. HELP ME. THHE’TH GOING TO…OH THHIT. THAT CAN’T BE POTHHIBLE WITHOUT…OH, FUCK. FUCK.”  
“Mr Appleberry, would it kill you to give me some warning before you attempt to kill my headset with incessant screeching?” Terezi's annoyed voice cut through his shouting. Sollux shivered as he continued to read.  
“I’m thending thith to you, TZ. Thith ith a horrifying litht of all the wayth KN withheth me to thuffer!”  
There was a silence on the other line that was broken five full minutes later by hysterical laughter. “You seriously…You’re dating Ampora? No wonder Kanaya wants to make you eat your nose, Appleberry! Poutygrape?” Terezi carried on laughing. “Hehehehehe! The court finds you guilty of being a dumbass!”  
“I’m jutht going to hide in my room for maybe the retht of my life. Eridan can come vithit. I’m not fathing the Maryam Mother-Rage. It could be the latht thing I ever do, and I wanted to pinch Eridan’th butt one latht time before I die a horrible death…” Sollux pulled a blanket further around him as Terezi's cackling laughter filled his headset.


End file.
